As we’re bombarded with movies like The Hangover and Forgetting Sarah Marshall is it any wonder why women are so enamored with Don Draper? Yes these are scripted characters from movies and television, but are they really so different from men in real life? Everyone knows someone that’s economically challenged, lazy, a slob, sexually unskilled, sexually vulgar, immature, socially incompetent, just downright childish. The man-boy paradigm is in full force with these characters as they display their lust for Beefaroni, boobs, drugs, video games and bodily functions of any kind.
While the movies may show women falling for these man-boys, in the end, the reality is that most women are longing for Don Draper. Don is tall, handsome, in control of his career, a family man and above all else, (seemingly) in control of himself. While Don may be emotionally unavailable, unfaithful, a chain smoker and a heavy drinker, his outward physical appearance and perceived air of control over any situation is extremely appealing when compaired to these boorish man-boy counterparts. In food terms, Don Draper would be a pot roast.
I was recently asked by someone, online, if I had any children? I replied with: I am child free but my husband and dog are like having 2 four year olds – does that count? Out of the blue, a male chimed in with: We act like 4 year olds because it’s fun.
Really? Is that the best reason you can come up with? Not that I was looking for a reason. The perpetually pubescent males of the world have their place, mainly just to entertain the rest of us. But these forever lost boys have another thing coming if they think this type of behavior will get them the woman they are looking (assuming they’re looking) for.
Don’t confuse childlike with childish. They are two completely different things. Childlike behavior can be a joyous outlook on life or digging around in the garden because it’s fun (not because the weeds are choking out the plants). But childish behavior includes farting at the table, in front of your parents, and laughing about it. Or spending 4 hours playing Worlds of Warcraft instead of getting the taxes done, when they’re due in 2 days. Can you change your man-boy? No. But you can figure out how to live with him, and his boyish antics, by learning how to play WOW or go clothes shopping with him and help him pick out some nicer clothes. (These are clearly just a couple of examples to show the compromise that is involved with living with your man-boy.) Or you can move on to someone who is more Don Draper than Peter Bretter.
- 2 -3 Pound Blade Cut Chuck Roast (cut into 2″ cubes*)
- 5 Slices of Bacon (roughly chopped)
- 1/2 Cup All Purpose Flour
- 4 Medium Carrots
- 3 Celery Ribs
- 1 Medium Onion
- 1 Teaspoon Kosher Salt plus more to taste
- 1/4 Teaspoon Fresh Ground Black Pepper plus more to taste
- 1/2 Ounce Dried Porcini Mushrooms (soaked in 1 cup hot water for 15 minutes)
- 2 14 Ounce Cans Diced Tomatoes (drained)
- 2 Tablespoons Tomato Paste
- 1 Teaspoon Worcestershire Sauce
- 1 12 Ounce Bottle Beer (darker beer preferred)
- Olive Oil
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
Chop carrots, celery and onions into large pieces. Chop in food processor until pieces are very small. (Pulse 6-7 times – pieces should be tiny, but you can still tell which are onion, carrot, and celery.)
Put flour onto a plate. Lightly coat all sides of chuck roast pieces in flour.
In a large Dutch oven, over medium high heat, add bacon and cook until just crisp and fat has rendered off. Remove bacon from pan and set aside.
Add floured chuck roast pieces to hot pan and brown on all sides. Do not crowd the pan. You may have to do this in a couple of batches. As each batch is browned, remove pieces to a plate and set aside.
You should have 2 tablespoons of bacon and beef fat in the pan. If not, add enough olive oil to make 2 tablespoons.
Add chopped carrot, celery, and onion to hot fat. Add 1 teaspoon salt. Stir occasionally until vegetables begin to show brown on their edges.
Add in 2 cans of tomato pieces and stir to combine.
Add tomato paste, Worcestershire sauce, ground black pepper, soaked mushrooms and soaking water. Stir to thoroughly combine.
Add bacon pieces, browned chuck roast pieces, and beer.
Stir to combine and make sure that all of the beef pieces are mostly submerged.
Cover and bake in oven for 3 hours.
*Cut into pieces if you intend to shred the meat and serve over pasta (Like an adult version of Beefaroni). If you wish to serve as a traditional pot roast, don’t cut the meat into cubes.