In 2007 we had sex tapes from such notorious notable fame whores like: Amy Fischer (aka the Long Island Lolita), (singer) Noelia, (famous for being famous) Kim Kardashian, and (American Idol contestant) Jessica Sierra.
2008 brought us more celebrity sexcapades. Except these little rondezvous’ weren’t filmed for our pleasure but there’s no denying that they occurred, since there is now a baby to prove the bumping of celebrity uglies. Uber waif Nicole Richie finally got some meat on her bones thanks to Joel Madden, and survival of the beautiful species occurred when Halle Berry carried Gabriel Aubrey’s offspring. No bastard child for Jessica Alba and Cash Warren as they married just weeks before having their little girl, the Mouse House inhabitant (Jamie Lynn Spears) teenage sister of Britney had one and Camila Alves produced a little naked bongo player with Matthewy McConaughey. More superior gene combining occurred between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Clay Aiken donated some of his sperm to longtime friend Jaymes Foster, Gillian Anderson found out that they really are out there and had a little one with her boyfriend, and Naomi Watts and her boyfriend Liev Schreiber added to their brood.
2009 brought a cavalcade of celebrity cheaters…in fact, some of the all-time best (biggest bombshell) cheaters. Mel Gibson cheated on his wife of 28 years with a Russian singer and knocked her up too (how very Christian like Mel). That whole Leann Rimes Eddie Cibrian life imitating art cheating debacle occurred. Presidential hopeful John Edwards cheated on his cancer stricken wife with videographer Rielle Hunter and gave her a “lust” child thus dashing any future political aspirations (especially after seeing her trashy photo shoot in which she’s seen straddling a bed strewn with her child’s toys while dressed in a belly shirt and untied pajama bottoms – not especially first lady material). Governor Mark Sanford led his constituents to believe he was hiking the Appalachian trail when in fact he was hiking the peaks of Argentinian Maria Belen Chapur. David Letterman seduced intern after intern in his special “private” office complete with fold out couch – how romantic. Who could keep up with Alex (A-Rod) Rodriguez. There was Madonna, a model, another model, another model…..John Gosselin cheated on his baby mama (of 8 kids). I mean, who couldn’t resist all the douchieness of a reality television whore who wears nothing but Ed Hardy?
2010 has started out with a bang of mea culpa’s. Tiger Woods news conference apology was a huge letdown. Granted, we the public are owed no explanation of his sexual deviancy (that’s reserved for wife Elin Nordegren), but a press conference begs to deliver something noteworthy. For crying out loud…you’re breaking into our precious television time…you better have something really good coming out of your mouth. We already know you want us to give you the chance to get back into our good graces (uh, good luck with that). YAWN! And now we’ve got Jesse James completely “me centric” public apology to wife Sandra Bullock. We already understand that you’re a selfish person when you cheat, but how about you sound a little less so in your apology. With the year being so young and already having 2 bombshell apology statements for celebrity infidelity, I can only imagine what’s coming in the next 9 months.
In homage to the wives of these lotharios, I’ve got a recipe for egg salad that might help get some of that frustration out. The slicing and dicing of eggs is a bit of healthy therapy considering they’d rather be slicing and dicing the testicles of their cheating husbands.
If you’ve done something wrong (anything) and you are going to apologize for it mean it when you do it. Don’t half ass an apology…we can read right through it if you’re not being sincere. And don’t apologize for your actions if you aren’t really sorry. Secondly, when formulating your apology, don’t center it on yourself. Yes, you’re a schmuck…that’s already been determined by all parties (that’s part of the reason why you’re apologizing in the first place). Reference that you were wrong, but make the other party understand that whatever you did to them was not their fault and that you are sorry for disrespecting them by doing whatever it is that you did. Then don’t ever do it again!
- 6 Hard Boiled Eggs
- 3 Green Onions (white and green parts chopped)
- 1/2 Cup Bread and Butter Pickles (chopped – see recipe in link)
- 1/2 Cup Greek Yogurt
- Kosher Salt
- Fresh Ground Black Pepper
Peel hard boiled eggs.
Cut eggs in half and remove yolks. In a medium size bowl, add yolks.
Chop egg whites into 1/4″ pieces and add to yolks in bowl.
Add chopped green onions and bread and butter pickles to bowl.
Add yogurt to bowl.
Stir in yogurt and roughly smash yolks. Continue smashing yolks to desired size. (I like mine a little chunkier.)
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Serve egg salad on bread or on a bed of lettuce.