A Born Again Virgin, Unicorns And Lemon Lime Bitters

by Pamela

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Lemon Lime Bitters

Lemon Lime Bitters

What the hell is a Born Again Virgin?  And if you’re divorced, 45 and the mother of 2 children can you really call yourself a Virgin (of the biblical sense I mean)?

I understand what it means to choose not to have sex and I understand the definition of the word virgin and, ok, there is a bit of an overlap of the two…but they aren’t the same thing (bring on that Sesame Street song).  So why are people women calling themselves Born Again Virgins (you don’t hear men calling themselves born again virgins)?  Is it because it sounds sexier than saying your celibate?  Are men fooled by this moniker into thinking you’re really a virgin (do men really want a virgin)? Or does labeling yourself a Born Again Virgin sound more positive than telling the guy, who’s trying to get into your pants, the true story : “well I’ve been with 6 guys in the past 18 months and I really thought each of them was ‘the one’ but I don’t want you to think I’m a slut…I’m not a slut am I?.”

Why do de-flowered women feel the need to give themselves a label of any kind, let alone, a label that is about as common as a unicorn (a real virgin in this day and age is almost as mythical) and is not really a virgin after all?  News flash: once you’ve given up your virginity…you can’t get it back!  You can decide to make smarter decisions as to who you have sex with (and given all the genital petri dishes that are out there, that’s a rather wise decision) or to only have solo interactions, as opposed to person to person interactions.

The lemon lime bitters drink is a bit like the myth of the born again virgin.  While it does have bitters in it (which is roughly 45% alcohol), so it’s technically an alcohol containing drink, most would consider it a Virgin drink.  Once you have this, you’ll forever swear off the Arnold Palmer.

Relationship Advice

Although Miss Manners actually approves of regifting, in her 2005 book “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”

if you receive a present that isn’t quite right, the present does not have to be used or displayed … This leaves room for returning, donating to charity and regifting, none of which is rude if the rule is strictly observed about protecting the donor from knowing.

So if you subscribe to Miss Manners and her way of thinking, as long as the other person didn’t like your gift (if you didn’t end up in a long term relationship – married- he didn’t like your gift…according to MM), the present wasn’t used (you didn’t have an orgasm?), or it wasn’t displayed (you didn’t have sex in public) you can give your ‘gift’ to a charity case (someone you feel sorry for – although not recommended) or just regift it to someone else you deem worthy of your gift.  That just doesn’t work for me.  Your sexuality isn’t a gift…it’s meant to be shared with someone you choose to share it with.

Serves 8

Ingredients

  • 1/2 Cup Lemon Juice
  • 1/2 Cup Lime Juice
  • 1 Cup Sugar
  • 1 Cup Water
  • 8 Ounces Club Soda
  • Angostura Bitters

Directions

Combine first 4 ingredients in a non-reactive 2 quart heavy bottomed saucepan over medium high heat and bring to a boil.

Remove from heat and pour into a bowl to cool.  Once cooled this simple syrup can be stored in a covered container in the refrigerator for several weeks.

Once the simple syrup has cooled add ice to a large glass.

To the glass, add 1 ounce (a standard shot glass) of the lemon lime simple syrup.

Add 8 ounces of club soda.

Add 5-8 dashes of bitters (or to taste).

Serve with a straw so that the bitters can be stirred into the drink.

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