Rather than bore you with the “25 Things You Don’t Know About Me,” because I’m pretty sure that after number 7 I’d just be making shit up, I’m going to let you in on a little weakness of mine. I am easily coerced into making things that sound exactly like something that I would not like.  It’s almost embarrassing. I almost ALWAYS end up doing a 180 and liking the very thing I originally swore that I didn’t like. I’m pretty certain a psychological examination would show that I have food induced Stockholm Syndrome, like if I were kidnapped and forced to work for Gordon Ramsay, I’d come back from the hell-fire and be all, “You guys, he’s really a sweetheart and he’s just misunderstood.”

I’m not a cream sauce kind of person, never have been.  I was always the one asking for the sauce or dressing on the side – way before anyone was doing it to try to save calories.  Is it so wrong to want taste my food and not have it hidden under the flavor of a sauce or dressing?  Craig, on the other hand, loves the sauces.  When we met he would put A-1 steak sauce on just about everything.  Those things that didn’t get the steak sauce treatment, received a bit of a bath in bbq sauce.  Somehow he’s since learned to use sauces as an enhancer, not the main source of flavor (hmmm…how did that happened?).  He still splashes Tabasco sauce on things, but that’s a little different.

After making that healthy cream sauce, I’ve been trying to come up with some other cream sauce recipes.  I’m still not looking for something to cover up the food, just enhance it’s flavors.  Oh, and if the sauce doesn’t add more padding to my butt….that’s just the icing on the cake.  Somehow I now find myself suddenly one recipe away from dumping out my watermelon juice and filling the pitcher full of cream sauce.  Apparently, a couple of ingredient switches and a dose of fresh herbs and I become a saucy (saucier) woman.  Who knew?

Relationship Advice

When are we going to wake up and realize that we’re being held captive, brainwashed, by low grade entertainment/entertainers?  While you may look at websites like Perez Hilton and TMZ as funny escapist humor (guilty), make no mistake…the daily D-List inhabitants of their pixels form the images of the men and women we are led to believe are A-List and desirable.

Heidi Montag, Pratt, Montag (whatever name she’s using today), Lindsay Lohan, any of the Jersey Shore Girls and any of the Kardashian sisters are just a few of the prima donna princesses that try way too hard to get themselves some press…any press.  Don’t they remind you of that bat shit crazy girl you went to high school with that turned even the act of going to her locker into level 10 drama?

Don’t forget the guys…

Spencer Pratt (you know I had to put him in here), John Mayer, Brody Jenner and any guy who dates Paris Hilton are some of the male prima donnas throwing themselves at us everyday.  They too believe the old adage of “there’s no such thing as bad publicity as long as they spell your name right.”

As captives of these celebutards we have moved beyond the stage of despising them and feeling sorry for them.  And true to Stockholm Syndrome, we have moved on to admiring and emulating them.  We need to step back and take a look at these celebutards and their publicity stunts for what they are…STUNTS.  The train wrecks that keep these sites in business aren’t people who should be in anyone’s spank bank.  Unfortunately, what seems to be happening is the more exposure these D-Listers get, the more people think that’s how they need to look and act.  I don’t know about you, but the people I want to associate with have a broader outlook than GTL.

Serves 4

Ingredients

• 2 Pounds Asparagus
• 1/4 Cup Water
• 3/4 Pounds King Crab Meat
• Fresh Ground Black Pepper
• 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
• 2 Cloves Garlic (minced)
• 1/3 Cup Lillet Blanc
• 2 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter
• 2 Tablespoons Mascarpone Cheese
• 1 Tablespoon Chopped Fresh Tarragon
• Kosher Salt
• White Pepper
• Zest of 1 Whole Lemon

Directions

Trim 1″ – 1 1/2″ inches off the bottom of the asparagus.

Cover a large plate with 2 layers of paper towels.  Lay asparagus on top of paper towels.

Pour 1/4 cup of water evenly over top of asparagus.

Microwave on high for 3 – 4 minutes.  Stalks should be tender but still crisp.  If using very thin asparagus stalks, less time may be needed.

When done, arrange asparagus on serving platter and set aside.

Heat a medium skillet until hot and add in king crab meat.

Add a couple grinds of black pepper and stir crab meat until heated through.

Once heated through, remove from pan and set aside.

Turn heat down to medium and add olive oil and minced garlic to pan.

Once garlic begins to brown, add the Lillet.

Scrape up any brown bits that are in the pan and cook until reduced to 1/4 cup.

Turn heat to low and stir in the butter 1 tablespoon at a time.

Once the butter has been incorporated stir the mascarpone into the mixture 1 tablespoon at a time.

Stir in the fresh tarragon.

Add salt and white pepper to taste.

Stir all ingredients to thoroughly combine and remove from heat.

Pile the crab meat onto the asparagus platter and pour sauce over the top of the crab meat.

Sprinkle the lemon zest liberally over the crab and asparagus.

Serve.

Related posts:

1. Spring has Sprung with this Asparagus and Leek Tart
2. Meatless Monday With Morels Asparagus and Craigslist
3. Gluten Free Quinoa Tabbouleh
4. Spice It Up: Soyrizo Black Bean Tacos and Missionary
5. Make Her Swoon Through Actions and Seafood Curry

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