Chocolate Cherry Milkshake Recipe

by Pamela

chocolate cherry, chocolate cherry milkshake, chocolate milkshake

So what to call this yummy creamy libation?  I mean, what do you call a shake that’s made with coconut milk, almond milk, cherries (and last but not least) chocolate?  Chocolate covered cherry shake?  Cherries and Chocolate Milkshake?  It’s rich and creamy with those magical flavors that make your eyes roll to the back of your head.  Could I squeeze orgasm somewhere in the name?

This is my last Friday cleanse post, so I thought I should make it a good one.  Sure, when you’re on a cleanse you can’t eat pounds of chocolate cake or drink copious amounts dairy products, but that’s where the creativity comes in.

Chocolate-Cherries

This chocolate cherry milkshake uses coconut milk for the rich and creamy flavor and texture (kind of like the chocolate covered cherry ice cream I make).  The cherries give it a sweet/tart tang and the addition of chocolate brings the wow factor up to a 10.  The ho hum name of chocolate cherry milkshake does not do this beverage justice.   This could be the healthiest most decadent tasting thing you’ve ever eaten.  But if you want to take it to another level of indulgence, you could go half and half with the coconut milk and almond milk – pure deliciousness.

Relationship Advice

I just met your girlfriend and she’s the incarnation of the sucubus’ even sluttier step sister.  I can’t really blame her, because she’s young and horny, did I mention that she’s really young?  But I also can’t help myself from thinking that she must be able to suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch and that’s why you’re with her.  When one of my female friends introduces me to her boyfriend, that’s a colossal douchebag, I can sort of forgive her because douchebags are born and women tend to look beyond lots of things when choosing a mate.  But when I meet a close male friend’s girlfriend, I can’t help but judge him.

I know that you guys have to put yourselves out there, a lot, to get a date.  Contrary to what most people think, even the most handsome of men don’t strike gold with every attempt.  I also understand that a woman’s brain is wired for relationships (among other things) differently than a guy’s brain.  We tend to analyze, make lists and think things through.  (This goes for our choice in men too.)  But when a guy introduces his friends to his ‘girlfriend,’ it seems to me that there should be some serious thought put into this major unveiling.

I realize that you look at her chrome removing ability to be a talent, and I’m happy for you that your chrome is bright and sparkly, but if that’s the main reason why you are with her, don’t bring her out in public.  When you bring her into the group, and are sitting around drinking and having a good time, we see you squirming.  We also see her, not very slyly, dry humping you while she sits on your lap.  Really, do we have to witness that?

Being a woman, who was once a young(er) woman, I can recognize a succubus from a mile away.  So I judge, because I can.  I judge guys whose ‘girlfriends’ are shamelessly flirting with the bartender and the guys’ friends.   Yep, I caught that phone number being passed as she went to the ladies room to freshen up.  Women might be catty bitches, but when it comes to defending our male friends we’re like mama lions protecting our cubs.

We may not tell you our opinion of your girlfriend, unless we’re asked, because that would be rude.  Just because we go to the bathroom with her, doesn’t mean we like her (we’ll go to the bathroom with an orangutan, it’s just how we are).  If you want to know whether we like your girlfriend or not, we’ll make a shopping date with her and not invite you.

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Chocolate Cherry Milkshake Recipe

Make 2 shakes or 1 large

Ingredients

  • 1 Cup Pitted Bing Cherries (I used fresh, but frozen would work)
  • 1/4 Cup Coconut Milk (do not use Coco Lopez, it’s not the same thing)
  • 3/4 Cup Unsweetened Almond Milk
  • 1 Tablespoon Flax Seeds
  • 1 1/2 Tablespoons Cocoa Powder (the unsweetened stuff)
  • 1/2 Cup Ice

Directions

Put all ingredient into the blender and pureé to the desired consistency.

Pour into two glasses and serve.

*For a richer flavor, you can use 1/2 cup coconut milk and 1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk.

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14 comments

Lynne Stidham September 9, 2013 at 11:32 pm

Chocolate covered cherry smoothie is my absolute favorite breakfast. I have it almost every day!! I love your recipe. I hadn’t thought of adding the chia seeds, definitely doing that tomorrow morning. I like mine thick and cold like a milk shake so I use the frozen cherries from Costco and to make it a full meal, I use the Chocolate Shaklee 180 Smoothee Mix in place of the cocoa powder. My kids LOVE this made into cherry fudge pops, they get to have dessert any time of the day because I know it’s actually feeding them. Really excited to add the chia seeds. Does it affect the flavor at all?

Pamela September 10, 2013 at 8:35 am

Hi Lynne,

Your recipe sounds great! The chia seeds don’t change the flavor at all but…they do change the thickness of the shake. When chia seeds get wet, the produce a gel like coating around the seed. You really won’t see this in the shake (put a few in a small glass of water and you’ll see what I mean) but it will change the thickness, it will be a thicker shake than you usually make. ENJOY!

Jamie December 12, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Super excited about this recipe, but just a tiny bit confused. What kind of coconut milk are you calling for? I first thought of So Delicious (imitation milk that -sadly- has the coconut flavor removed), but then the Coco Lopez comment made me wonder if you were referring to canned coconut milk (the thick and creamy coconut-tasting kind used in many Thai recipes). I suppose I could have it either way, but I like to try recipes as written first!

Stephanie January 27, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Love how this feels decadent but is actually healthy. Well done!

Amanda @ BakingWithoutABox January 24, 2011 at 8:42 pm

I’d call that shake a lil glass of heaven. Or maybe (given I think it’s ok w/ the Relationship advice) that dang shake looks Orgasmic.
I laughed through the description of the girlfriend. But I won’t go to the bathroom with her. If she’s that young/immature, I’m catty enough to ask if she hasn’t graduated potty training yet. Mee-yow.

marla {family fresh cooking} January 24, 2011 at 7:19 pm

You know me girl, I am a big fan of treats that taste decadent but are actually very healthy. This shake sounds great & I cannot believe it is part of the cleanse.

sippitysup January 24, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Men have different rules about the bathroom and about telling it like it is! GREG

Nancy@acommunaltable January 23, 2011 at 11:28 pm

I really, really could use one of these right now – cherry and chocolate are two of my favorite flavors – and then when I think it can’t get any better I find there is coconut milk in there!!
I think I have just found my new favorite treat!!

Betty @ scrambled hen fruit January 22, 2011 at 11:17 pm

So refreshing to see the words healthy and decadent in the same sentence! This looks fabulous. :)

Andrea @ Fork Fingers Chopsticks January 22, 2011 at 5:37 pm

The relationship advice on this one was spot on the armcandy issue but I’m less inclined to give a girlfriend a pass when her boyfriend/husband is that unbearable. Have you written a post about what to do when your girls are hooked up/married to someone you can’t stand?

Belinda @zomppa January 21, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Dang, folks better be careful who they bring! Funny! This milk shake is too tempting!

Ken│hungry rabbit January 21, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Two question. Will this milkshake brings boys to my yard and what’s the chrome thing? Seriously, this shake looks good and good for you. Well done Pammy.

Ethan January 21, 2011 at 9:18 pm

I’d like to thank you for the milkshake recipe and for a bunch of laughs throughout the post. I love knowing what really goes on in a woman’s mind, i’m hoping one of these days, it will help me out!

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