The days are getting longer and the temperature is finally starting to rise (in between those few days when it plummets so low it makes us double check the date on the calendar). I don’t know about you, but when these things start to happen I start to think about summer foods. Yep, I skip right through Spring and head straight for the summer lovin’. Of course, living in California pretty much only gives us two seasons: Winter and Summer. Sure, there is some noticeable change in the daylight hours and temperature ranges, but we don’t have the usual signs of Spring like melting snow and the crocus peeking through said snow. Hell, my tulips, daffodils and hyacinths were blooming in late January.
While grocery shopping the other day I came across one of the things that screams out SPRING to me. Yes, inanimate grocery store items speak to me and sometimes I even have major epiphany’s as I fill bags with bulk seeds and beans. This particular speaking grocery item was Key West shrimp. I don’t know if you’ve ever had these delicacies of the sea, but I highly recommend you take the plunge and splurge a little for these little shrimps, if you are lucky enough to find them.
As you would expect, from something that has Key West in its name, they are a very pretty shell pink color – even when they’re raw. They’ve also got a sweetness you just don’t usually find in shrimp. I immediately knew that these beauties were going to grace my margarita glass in the form of a fresh and tropical shrimp ceviche recipe (a ceviche recipe I concocted in my head as I walked out of the store).
A traditional ceviche is chock full of fish that is “cooked” by the acidity of citrus fruits like lemons or limes. The acid in these fruits “cooks” the proteins in the fish so that it has the consistency of heat cooked fish. Throw in some crunchy bits like onions or jicama and some juicy fruits (and don’t forget the avocado) and you’ve got the perfect party dish, or simple dinner, when the temperatures soar and you can’t possibly imagine turning on the oven.
Shrimp ceviche is just as simple to make, and to customize to your liking, but there’s one additional step. The shrimp really need to be cooked, albeit quickly, before they take a bath in some citrus and tequila. The quick cook kills any bacteria that might be lurking (which happens more in shrimp than in fish) in the shrimp.
The beauty of the shrimp ceviche recipe is that there really is no recipe. Sure you can find lots of ceviche recipes online. But all you really need to know is what you like to eat with your shrimp. Really, it’s that simple. A ceviche is a mixture of flavors and textures and the only thing that limits you, when putting one together, is your own set of tastebuds.
Things are getting hot and heavy with your guy. The wine is flowing, the lights are low and you’re about get down and dirty. He, being the responsible type, has his condom at the ready and reaches over to get it and put it on. Isn’t it nice to know that there are guys out there that are willing to take some responsibility for their and your health? You picked a good one girl!
You take a peak, cuz you’re curious like that and all of a sudden you think you’re in a cartoon. You hear tires screeching and you feel you teeth clench and eyes bulge. No, you’re not seeing the eighth wonder of the world in your guys manhood, you’ve just gotten a glimpse of what is either a huge tattoo on his member or some kind of gecko like animal that’s physically perched there. WTF?!! You let out a screech and the moment is over. He has no idea what’s going on and can’t figure out what just sent you over the edge.
Why in the world would someone think it’s cool to have Gene Simmons’ face and monstrous tongue emblazoned on a condom? Yes, there are things that technology is good for (neurosurgery and computers to name a couple), but are we really going to embrace technology that allows men to sheath their manhood with removable pictures? Yes, there is a company that has come out with these spectacularly gross KISS condoms.
If a guy is that devoted to KISS, or something else, that he feels it should be on his dick at his most intimate of moments, then why not commit fully to the cause and get it permanently tattooed on there? Plus, have you considered how your lady friend might feel about being penetrated by Gene Simmons?
If Gene Simmons’ tongue is anywhere near my lady bits it isn’t going to be some graphic representation that’s wrapped around someone else’s junk, it’s gonna be the real thing.
Recipe: Tropical Shrimp Ceviche
- 1 Pound Peeled and Deveined Shrimp
- 1/2 Pineapple (peeled, cored and diced)
- 1/2 Red Bell Pepper (cut into small dice)
- 1 Mango (peeled, pit removed and diced)
- 1 Medium Maui Onion (diced)
- 1/2 Large Cucumber (peeled and diced)
- 2 Avocados Diced
- 1/2 Serrano Chilli (seeds and ribs removed and diced)
- 1 Handful Cilantro (stems removed and chopped)
- 3 Ounces Pineapple Juice
- 2 Limes (juiced)
- 2 Lemons (juiced)
- 1/4 Cup Tequila
- Sea Salt
- Fill a large pot with water and a generous pinch of salt and bring to a boil. Once water is boiling, add in the shrimp and turn off the heat. Let sit in the water for 3 minutes (stir occasionally).
- Remove the shrimp from the water and chop into 1/2″-3/4″ pieces.
- In a large, non-reactive bowl, combine the pineapple juice, lime juice, lemon juice and tequila.
- Add the shrimp to the juices.
- To the shrimp and juice add the diced pineapple, bell pepper, mango, onion, cucumber, avocado and chilli pepper. Stir to combine all of the ingredients.
- Cover and chill for 2 hours in the refrigerator.
- Spoon into glasses or bowls and add in some of the chopped cilantro.
- Sprinkle with a bit of sea salt.
I used Maui onions, but any sweet onion will work. For a different flavor, you could use red onion instead.
Save the shrimp shells and make some tasty shrimp stock. (More on that at a later date.)
Feel free to omit the tequila if you wish.
Cooking time (duration): 20 Minutes
Diet type: Pescatarian
Diet (other): Gluten free
Number of servings (yield): 6
Meal type: hors d’oerves
Culinary tradition: Spanish