When I go out for breakfast, I’m an absolute sucker for eggs benedict. There’s something about that smooth runny egg mixing in with the salty ham and crunchy english muffin that I just can not resist. Of course, I can resist the usually bland and super oily restaurant sauce that most try to pass off as hollandaise sauce. When done right, the sauce is sublimely smooth, rich and delicious. When done wrong, it’s a flavorless calorie bomb that adds nothing, but detracts a lot from my favorite dish. <sadness> So I usually ask for the sauce to be served on the side so that I can taste and determine if my eggs benedict will be properly dressed or consumed naked.
As much as I adore a good eggs benedict recipe, I don’t make it at home very often because it requires circus skills to get everything assembled and served properly: warm poached eggs, lightly buttered and still warm english muffin and hot Canadian bacon…not to mention the ever tricky hollandaise sauce which must also be warm and not broken. I just don’t have those kinds of talents. I decided long ago that the circus was not for me.
With all of that…I decided to embark on my own version of eggs benedict. Not only did I want to have a dish that was easier to make at home, but I wanted to give it a bit of a healthier makeover.
First, was to turn an eggs benedict recipe into eggs florentine. That was the simplest part – replace the bacon with spinach. Of course, while I was at the farmer’s market I came across this beautiful Chinese spinach and had to use that instead of the usual good ol’ green spinach. Isn’t it pretty? The next step was to eliminate the poached egg. Stop freaking out! Eggs florentine definitely has to have eggs…or it wouldn’t be called eggs florentine, it would be called spinach on toast. I opted for the easier (super) soft boiled egg. This infinitely easier egg preparation allows for a soft set oozy yolk without all the drama that usually surrounds making poached eggs. Yes, I openly admit that my batting average does not come close to Derek Jeter’s (in more ways than one) especially when it comes to making perfect poached eggs. And if I’m making this in the morning you can pretty much count on me screwing it up royally. So soft boiled eggs it is! Time to slut it up a bit or the yummifying of the florentine eggs benedict by participating in pure unadulterated sacrilege – no hollandaise sauce. (This is the slutty part) Nope, I use a tangy goat cheese pico de gallo sauce that’s one part French (the goat cheese) and one part Mexican…all parts yum (tell me you didn’t see that last line coming from a mile away).
I think this florentine eggs benedict/florentine eggs/eggs benedict is pretty darn delicious and it really does make things simpler and healthier. Plus, if you bring out oozy egg yolks, everyone is always impressed.
I just received a Victoria’s Secret catalog in the mail, so guess where this is going today?
First of all, Victoria’s Secret is out: if you wear something lacy and satiny you will look to be 6 feet tall and have a fabulous figure that every man will clamor over. But, as with all things cool (don’t hold me to saying that Victoria’s Secret is cool – I’ll deny it to my dying breath) there is a real secret: if you don a lingerie set from VS you’re still going to look like the slightly hairy/slightly overweight/poochy belly/short legs, bad skin/flat chested (insert your own self-hated body part here) person you were before…you’ll just be better dressed for bed. So my question is, do our partners really care what we wear to bed? Do they want us to look casual, sensual, slutty or do they even care at all what we look like when we come to bed?
VS is not going to change who you are or what you look like when you’re in the throes of passion. No, that’s only going to happen if you’re wearing KISS makeup or a furries costume (think sports team mascot outfit and yes, there is a fetish for that). Then, and only then, will you look like someone else in bed. As far as being someone else in bed…that’s up to your idea of role play or adult movies and how you like to re-enact them.
What you wear (or don’t wear) to bed should be considered for either a-comfort or b-easy access (be that for sex or the 2 am emergency pee run). Let’s make a case for a few of the choices.
- Nothing, aka au natural aka naked: totally comfortable (in warm weather) and access issues definitely don’t exist. Plus, just the touch of skin on skin usually gets things rockin’ and rollin’ in the bedroom. (Very sexy and slutty in a good way)
- Lingerie: could be comfortable, usually isn’t due to straps and clips that invariably end up in places that should be rubbed with straps and clips and access is generally pretty difficult unless said lingerie has been purchased from some place like Hustler or Frederick’s. If he sees you strut into the bedroom in it, you’ll probably not have to worry about the access part (or the comfort part) for very long since he’ll be ripping it right off of you. But if you intend to sleep in the stuff, you’re probably in for a restless nights sleep. (Sexy and just plain slutty)
- Oversize shirt: totally comfortable easy access. Kinda says meh, but if you’re wearing his shirt you do get some extra style points. (Can be sexy – depending on whether it’s an 80′s Go-Go’s concert t-shirt that’s seen better days or one of his work shirts, definitely not slutty)
- Footie PJ’s: comfortable (in the dead of winter) but access is severely limited both for sexy time or potty time. I suppose if your significant other is into Dr. Suess and the Whoville characters it could be sexy, otherwise this look is decidedly un-sexy and not slutty.)
Recipe: Florentine Eggs Benedict
- 2 English Muffins (split, toasted and buttered)
- 4 Fresh, Large Eggs
- 1/2 Cup Fresh Goat Cheese (chevre)
- 2 Tablespoons Half and Half (could substitute milk or cream)
- Pinch White Pepper
- 3 Handfuls of Grape Tomatoes (chopped)
- 1/2 White Onion (diced)
- 3 Springs Cilantro (leaves chopped, stems removed)
- 1/2 Serrano Chili (seeds removed chopped fine)
- 1/2 Lime (juiced)
- 4 Handfuls Chinese Spinach (or regular spinach)
- 2 Cloves Garlic (finely minced)
- 2 Teaspoons Olive Oil
- Lay 2 halves of toasted and buttered English muffins on each plate.
- Fill a medium size saucepan 3/4 of the way full with water. Place pan over medium heat until water boils.
- Carefully add eggs to boiling water for 5 minutes.
- Remove eggs from boiling water and immediately put them into a bowl of ice water (to stop the cooking).
- While the eggs are cooking, make up the sauce and pico de gallo.
- Add the goat cheese, half and half and white pepper to medium sized bowl and stir to thoroughly combine the ingredients.
- In another medium sized bowl add the tomatoes, onions cilantro, chili and lime juice.
- Stir to combine all ingredients and season lightly with salt and pepper if you wish.
- Add half of the pico de gallo to the goat cheese sauce mixture and stir to thoroughly combine.
- In a large saute pan add the olive oil and garlic. Turn the heat to medium.
- Once the garlic starts to sizzle, add in the spinach.
- Using tongs, gently turn the spinach so that it gets coated with the oil and garlic and begins to wilt.
- Remove pan from heat once the spinach is lightly wilted and carefully arrange onto the English muffin halves.
- Remove the eggs from the ice water and gently peel them. Remember, these aren’t hard boiled eggs, so the white will be soft and the center will be runny (you may want to make an extra egg just in case one breaks open while you’re peeling it).
- If you would like to re-warm he eggs a bit, you can carefully slide them into some simmering water for a few seconds.
- Top each spinach covered muffin half with one egg.
- Spoon the sauce evenly over all of the eggs.
- Serve each plate with additional pico de gallo.
A soft boiled egg does not give you quite the same oozy egg yolk as poached, but your guests will be hard pressed to notice the difference.
If you really want to go non-traditional with this dish, you could use toasted challah bread or brioche.
Preparation time: 20 Minutes
Cooking time: 10 Minutes
Diet type: Vegetarian
Number of servings (yield): 2
Culinary tradition: USA (General)