I could sugar coat the following announcement…but since I’m not known for doing things like that, I figured I wouldn’t start doing that now. Craig and I have turned into a couple of fat asses. You seemed shocked! Yes, it’s true….all of this eating and drinking is taking its toll on our waistlines (but mostly my ass). Since I don’t have a sex tape, with Ray J (or any other no-name rapper) and a momager who could pimp out my career based on a video of me banging around with said no-name… or a way to capitalize on my oversized ass, I am relinquished to working out; eating better (and less) and staying away from video recorders.
Although the upcoming recipes will be of a healthier variety, I promise that they will not be lacking in great flavor. Craig doesn’t do “diet” food. So I have to make sure that everything has a ton of flavor so he doesn’t feel like he’s missing anything. Me…I’m your typical chick when it comes to having to lose some l b’s. If it means fitting into my skinny jeans or favorite dress, I could eat cardboard for a week.
I also promise not to lose my snarky/bitchy edge that you’ve all come to know and love. In fact, you might even see me step it up a notch or two. Craig says I go from zero to bitch in under five seconds when I’m hungry. I suppose it’s a good thing he doesn’t work from home…or maybe I just do that so he doesn’t work from home that much (I’ll never tell – unless I’m really drunk and doing that drunk babbling thing that I do sometimes.).
There’s no chicken and waffles ice cream today, or even basil olive oil ice cream (which I could totally make a case for being healthy and should be a part of every weight loss plan), but I do have something cool and refreshing for you: Cucumber Pineapple Sorbet. Sounds good huh?
This simple sorbet recipe can be made with or without an ice cream maker (technically it would then be called a granita, but let’s not get picky). As far as sorbet recipes go, this one is also really flexible. You can obviously serve it as a light and refreshing dessert or you could serve it as an amuse bouche (which is just a fancy word for something to eat that makes you even hungrier) or as a palate cleanser in between courses if you’re having a multi-course dinner party (a palate cleanser is something that you eat to help clear away any heavy flavors that you might have in your mouth that my impact the flavor of the next dish you are about to eat – and if you already knew that consider yourself superior and quit complaining that I just explained it). Any way you serve this cucumber pineapple sorbet is going to be great.
Sorbet recipes sometimes tend to get heavy on the sugar and get really sweet. This one is really light tasting. In fact, the cucumber and the pineapple are so light in this, people have a hard time telling what exactly is in the sorbet. You can taste the cucumber and you can taste the pineapple, but combining the two of them leaves people guessing what those familiar flavors are. I love serving things like that. People tend to talk about what they’re eating instead of just shoveling the food in their mouths so they eat a little slower and enjoy it more (that’s also a great way to help you slim down…slow down when you eat).
So I’m not going to badger or harp on this whole diet or eating healthy to lose weight thing. There’s just going to be some really delicious stuff on the site in the coming weeks, but it will be on the lighter side of the culinary scale. Because the site is called My Man’s Belly, not My Man’s Fat Ass and His Chubby Bride.
Would you sign a pre-nup that had a weight clause in it? By weight clause I mean that there is an actual number, in print, that if either you or your spouse (or both of you) hit it’s grounds for divorce or causes you to lose marital property in the divorce?
Most of us tend to gain a few pounds when we’re in a long term relationship, but is that enough of a reason to break up? Apparently it is in France (tell me you’re surprised). Samantha Beck has learned that being married to a Frenchmen means a lot of scrutiny of her body. So much so that he believes that if she becomes a “fat wife” it is justifiable grounds for divorce.
But don’t start railing against the French just yet, it happens in America too. There are countless instances where pre-nups have been drawn up that state gaining weight beyond a golden number is grounds for divorce. Or if the base weight of the person is exceeded, they forfeit a certain portion of the marital assets.
So do you think cheating on your diet is as bad as cheating on your spouse and calls for divorce?
Recipe: Cucumber Pineapple Sorbet
- 1/2 Cup Sugar
- 1/2 Cup Water
- 1 1/2 Pounds Persian Cucumber (peeled and roughly chopped)
- 1/2 Pound Pineapple Pieces (fresh or canned)
- 2 Tablespoons Lime Juice
- 2 Tablespoons Gin (I used Hendrick’s)
- 1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
- Add sugar and water to a small saucepan.
- Over medium high heat, stir until the sugar dissolves, then remove from heat and let cool to room temperature.
- Add all ingredients to a blender and purée until everything is smooth.
- Pour into a container and chill for at least 2 hours.
- Pour purée into the bowl of your ice cream maker and process according to manufacturer’s directions.*
- Scrape out sorbet from ice cream maker, into a container and freeze for at least 2 hours before serving.
I used the gin to help keep the sorbet from freezing rock hard. You could also use vodka if you don’t have any gin on hand. You could also make it without the alcohol if you would like.
* Instead of putting the purée into the ice cream maker, pour it into a metal bowl and place in the freezer. Remove it every 30 minutes and stir it thoroughly to help break it up (you may need to scrape it with a fork as time goes by). Continue doing this for 2 hours. Then it’s ready to serve.
Preparation time: 20 Minutes
Cooking time: 7 Minutes
Diet type: Vegetarian
Number of servings (yield): 8
Culinary tradition: USA (General)