Sweet Corn Soup with Hatch Chiles Cream

by Pamela

sweet corn soup, creamy corn soup, hatch chiles, relationship advice
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I keep getting these e-mails from a Mr. Max Gentleman.  You would think with a beautiful name like that, he would have a message of peace and kindness.  I guess I’m just easily wooed by the term gentlemen.  In this case, gentlemen is a term that is as loosely thrown around as when my 8th grade teacher (a nun) called the boys in my class gentlemen as she was trying to keep her shit about her while yelling at them for mooning the passing cars while we were barreling down the freeway on a field trip.  As you may have guessed, I was taken aback  by Mr. Gentleman’s message of good cheer.

It seems Mr. Gentleman has a concern that my penis might not be large enough to satisfy my lover.  Really?  Have you read my blog?  Am I really that unfeminine that you believe I’m a guy?  Intrigued by his penis talk (how could I not be) I continued reading his e-mail and then I saw that his penis enlargement product has been featured on the holy grail of networks…Fox News and ESP.   The latter of these 2 networks I can only assume is some popular cult channel that’s all the rage with the early 20 something set, as I (being the old fart that I am) have never heard of it.  Then again, sometimes I’m completely out of touch with reality due to my martini addiction.

See, there is more to my life than cooking…and drinking, not much, but something.  My friends tell me I need to get a hobby.  What do you think?

Corn-on-the-Cob

But all of this talk of penis enlargement pills was quite coincidental, given that the day I received that e-mail I had shucked about 30 ears of corn.  Don’t ask…it all has to do with me trying to find a new hobby (for the record, it will not be corn shucking).  But all of that yanking and hair pulling (sounds quite sexual no?) got me to thinking about making some really fresh sweet corn soup.  I realize, to some, this might be quite a stretch…but if you could map my brain you’d probably be really scared (cuz it was all very natural to me).  You should feel sorry for my husband.

Back to this sweet corn soup.  Yes, I’ve made corn soup before.  But for some reason I called it corn chowder, and both times I made it with crab.  Oh yeah, now I remember.  The first time it was a corn chowder from scratch, and I made it in the middle of winter.  A pretty hardy creamy corn soup that totally worked with the cold blustery weather.  The next time I made the creamy corn soup (sorry – chowder) was in the summer, and someone had asked me if I had an easier way to make it.  I did, by using a pre-made corn soup that I really like, and then adding some homemade touches – like crab.

This time, I wanted to make a creamy sweet corn soup (from scratch) that was super easy (no, you do not need to shuck 30 ears of corn – I told you that was for a hobby project) and tasted like I had spent hours on it.  Making easy things that taste (fancy word alert – amortizing college degrees again) laborious make your friends and family swoon at your feet.  Accept the accolades and marvel in your grandeur.  It happens so infrequently you need to take advantage of such moments.

I set out on a quest, of the interwebs and all, and found lots of recipes for sweet corn soup, but none were quite what I was looking for.  I melded several together to come up with this creamy corn soup, but then added my own (call it selfish) touches, like hatch chiles and cilantro, to make a Southwestern style sweet corn soup.

I know, people like to drizzle flavored olive oils and make  pretty green circles on top of their sweet corn soup.  Really, a pretty contrast to the yellow soup, but I’ve been eating the hatch chiles like they’re going extinct, so I thought a little southwestern twist with cilantro and a hatch chile cream would be a nice change.  I was right…in this house anyway.

Relationship Advice

So after all of this talk of penis size, I suppose it makes sense to talk about that today – right?  So…does penis size matter?

On a personal level (mom and relatives scroll to the recipe part of the post) it’s all about how you use it…not the size.  Kind of like the pen…if you don’t know how to use it, what’s the point?

So as not to appear biased (even though this is my site) I went to AskMen.com (I think of them as a bit of an expert in the field) for their opinion on the matter.

  • The average erect size of the adult penis between 5.5 inches and 6.2 inches in length and 4.7 inches and 5.1 inches in girth. (from 40 independent studies taken since 1942 and over 11,000 respondents – so those stats look pretty good to me)
  • 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s penile size, but only 55% of men were satisfied. (This from results of over 50,000 men and women surveyed.  Clearly, the men have “bigger issues” over the organ than their female partners do.  I suppose the same could be said about how women view their bodies vs. how men view them.)
  • Unless you are the proud owner of a significantly smaller (under 4.0 inches erect) or significantly larger (over 7.5 inches), your partner’s ability to identify your exact size and judge you on it are pretty slim (This is scientific fact folks).
  • Women are in agreement on a few things regarding size: When given the choice between larger-than-average size with below-average skills and average size with above-average skills, there is no contest, skill beats size every time.
  • If you happened to be packing like Lexington Steele, anything over average size is going to waste (a woman’s vajajay that hasn’t had a child is only 3″ deep) — there wouldn’t be anywhere for those inches to go.  (So that whole…more than a mouthful is a waste saying goes both ways)
  • So guys, quit worrying about size and just get out there and gain some confidence – we don’t have a problem with your member size.  And women, stop pretending like you care about size and start enjoying what your guy has.  It is a two way street after all.
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4 comments

Tim August 26, 2011 at 9:13 am

Interesting site. Caters primarily to women but your article clearly targets men. From my point of view (no pun intended), the reason why so many males are dissatisfied with their size is because of the porn industry. The same thing can be said about women in terms of public shaving: that is what the porn stars do so that seems to be what is expected. I think both genders suffer from similar issues of body image: we take our cues from the exception not the rule, whether that be the well-endowed for males or the impossibly skinny for females. I wish it was otherwise but we are all products of our culture. Your advice, however, is spot on. Be yourself and be the best self you can be. Thank you for the great writing. I know how hard it is and you do it well.

amelia from z tasty life August 25, 2011 at 8:29 am

Pamela: I especially like the secret ingredient: confidence ;)

Liz August 25, 2011 at 4:49 am

This post cracked me up! PS…your corn soup looks amazing!

Janis August 25, 2011 at 4:15 am

Ok, I love you and this is a great post. I am glad you had that glass of wine.

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