According to Ben & Jerry’s, we’re now supposed to be enjoying a big ol’ bowl of ice cold Schweddy Balls when we sit down to watch our average 4 hours of television per day. Okay Mesrs. Ben AND Jerry. I’m going to go all feminista on your Schweddy Balls.
I mean…c’mon guys. You’re a couple of tree huggers from Vermont. There’s already a ton of treats that pay homage to the male genetalia: spotted dick (a sad malady for sure) sponge pudding, Jamaican cock flavored soup mix (no gangia in the ingredient list), Drysack (another sad malady) port, Japanese Dick Sticks, Cockburn port, Prick potato chips and the list goes on.
So how about a little love for us chicks…huh? When do we get an ice cream named after our lady parts? I mean, at least the pet names of our bits sound much prettier than balls and are usually described in much more delicate terms than Schweddy. Are you listening to me Ben & Jerry? I beseech you to rectify this wrong. Maybe this chocolate zucchini bread will inspire you.
Okay, I’ll admit that the humble and green zucchini is a rather phallic symbol, but chocolate…CHOCOLATE that delicacy is owned by the female persuasion. And in this recipe…the zucchini is beyond dominated by the phenol bearing chocolate. We take one bite of this chocolatey healthy zucchini bread and we are woman…hear us roar!
Maybe I went a little far with my plea to B&J, but I don’t really think so. I’ve gone through a ton of this vegetable this year. I can’t even begin to name all of the things I’ve made with this little green squash. But the best thing to roll out of my kitchen, containing zucchini has to be this chocolate zucchini bread.
I’ve got a lot of different flours in my cupboard so I thought I’d play around with my usual zucchini bread recipe and see if I couldn’t make a healthy zucchini bread out of it. FYI…just because something starts with the word zucchini, does not necessarily mean it’s healthy or good for you. Not only was I working on making this healthy, but I thought I’d try to make a gluten free bread out of it, for my friends that have a little problem with gluten. Maybe it’s the chocolate talking, but no one I gave this to had any idea it was zucchini anything, healthy anything or gluten free anything.
So have no fear making this one exactly as is…no one will have a clue how good it is for them. In fact, I dare you to tell them it’s a gluten free bread and just watch their faces – priceless.
I am woman…hear me ROAR!
Recipe: Chocolate Zucchini Bread
- 2 Cups Shredded Zucchini
- 1/2 Cup Sorghum Flour
- 1/2 Cup Brown Rice Flour
- 1/2 Cup Cocoa Powder
- 1 Teaspoon Baking Powder
- 1/4 Teaspoon Salt
- 1/4 Teaspoon Cinnamon
- 1/4 Cup Oil
- 1/4 Cup Canned Pumpkin
- 1 Cup Granulated Sugar
- 6 – 8 Tablespoons Plain Non-Fat Yogurt
- 1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
- 3/4 Cups Chocolate Chips
- 1 1/2 Teaspoon Espresso Powder
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
- Add all dry ingredients to one bowl and stir, with a fork, for 3 minutes to evenly mix all of the dry ingredients.
- Add all wet ingredients (including zucchini) into another bowl. Stir to thoroughly combine the ingredients.
- Once everything in the wet bowl is mixed, begin to fold the dry ingredients in with the wet.
- Continue to fold ingredients until well combined.
- Lightly oil or butter 4 small loaf pans or one 8″ loaf pan.
- Pour the batter into the loaf pan(s) and smooth the top of the batter.
- Bake for 50 – 60 minutes or until a toothpick, inserted in the middle of the loaf(s) comes out clean.
- Let cool.
- Remove from pan, slice and serve.
The amount of yogurt you use varies depending on how dry your ingredient mix is. If you need more moisture, add more yogurt. But start using the 6 tablespoons.
Preparation time: 15 minute(s)
Cooking time: 50 minute(s)
Diet type: Vegetarian
Diet tags: Gluten free
Number of servings (yield): 1
Culinary tradition: USA (General)