Have you ever noticed how fruits and vegetables tend to look like other things? You know what I’m talking about. Cucumbers look like a certain male appendage and well, we all know that melons are a euphemism for a woman’s boobs. Of course broccoli looks like a miniature tree and carrots look like spears. I think we project these things onto veggies, when we’re children, so that they become more relatable. Okay, maybe not the cucumber and melon thing.
But vegetables don’t just look like other inanimate objects, they can look like people too (or maybe it’s the people that look like vegetables). For example: Billy Corgan (from Smashing Pumpkins) looks like an upside down egg and Piers Morgan looks like a potato (ok, he looks more like Mr. Potato Head) but you get the idea. But what about brussels sprouts?
Brussels sprouts are like the red headed stepchildren of the vegetable world. Really, they are. Typically you find that people either love them or hate them. I’ve got a caramelized brussels sprouts recipe today that’s going to change the mind of a lot of those haters. But first I need to share this other little bit of info with you. I think brussels sprouts look like Renee Zellweger. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself.
BAM! You see it? Renee has a round face…the brussels sprout is round. She almost always has got a lot of shine on her skin…as does a fresh brussels sprout. She’s got those squinty eyes and puckery mouth which causes lines on her face like the noticeable veins on the brussels sprout. I dare you to ever look at a brussels sprout again and not see the face of Renee Zellweger squinting back at you. Hey, at least it’s not some horrible song that gets stuck in your head all day.
These roasted brussels sprouts are something that I’ve been working on for quite a while now. There’s a local restaurant that serves what they call caramelized brussels sprouts that I just adore. I like them so much, I’ve been known to order 2 servings plus a glass of wine and call it dinner. Whenever I take anyone to the restaurant, I start rambling on and on about these things to the point their eyes glaze over and they just blurt out “For God’s sake…order the damn brussels sprouts already!” The jokes on them, because every single one of those people have had a huge smile on their face when they eat them. Ha Ha Bitches…now don’t you feel stupid? (But since I’m a nice hostess, I hardly ever say that out loud. Hardly ever.)
About now, I’m sure you’re starting to panic over your big turkey day dinner festivities. I’m not because my goofy friends have decided to go to a seafood restaurant for the big day. Craig and I won’t be joining them, until dessert, because Craig has threatened to do all kinds of bad things (while at the restaurant) if he doesn’t get turkey and the usual side dishes.
So these caramelized roasted brussels sprouts are one of the easiest Thanksgiving side dishes you’ll make. Well, aside from that crockpot applesauce I made the other day. They’re slightly unusual ingredients will also help to convert even the staunchest brussels sprout hater to a confirmed believer.
An easy side dish, that taste really good, is something lots of people are always looking for. Sure it might be easy to make, but if it doesn’t taste that great what’s the point of making it? I mean, bologna and mayo sandwiches are easy to make…but is that something you want to serve to guests? (or yourself?) Besides, there are plenty of your family’s traditional Thanksgiving side dishes that are difficult or time consuming to make. Shouldn’t you get a break on at least one easy side dish?
I totally get it, this is a tit for tat world. We see it in children, ourselves as well as our world leaders. Okay, with the world leaders (lately) it’s been more TIT than tat (and in some cases bunga bunga), but in general it is believed that if you do something to me, then I can do something of equal magnitude to you.
Please don’t send me any hate male regarding that last statement. I asked nicely, which I don’t ordinarily do, because I’m merely stating my observations of this world. Of course, if you choose to send me something nasty, distasteful or stupid I am completely within my rights to say something to you that you probably won’t like but I don’t make all the rules, yet, but that’s how tit for tat works.
How does this relate to relationships you ask? No, I’m not talking about calling your significant other names or pounding the crap out of each other. I’m talking about wardrobe. I don’t really have much to say on the topic, but I do have some visuals for you to show you what I’m talking about.
If you insist on going out looking like this:
Then we will be forced to go out looking like this:
Recipe: Tangy Roasted Brussels Sprouts
- 2 Pounds of Small Brussels Sprouts (cut in half lengthwise)
- 6 Tablespoons Olive Oil (divided)
- Juice of 1 Lemon
- 2 Generous Tablespoons of Capers (packed in liquid)
- 4 Sardines (smashed and paste like)
- Bread (thickly sliced and toasted)
- Preheat oven to 450 degrees Farenheit.
- Pour brussels sprouts into a large (12″-16″) cast iron skillet.
- Coat the brussels sprouts, thoroughly, with 3 tablespoons of the olive oil.
- Cook in the oven for 40 – 45 minutes. Edges will be dark brown and slightly black in some places. Stir the brussel sprouts halfway through the cooking.
- While they are cooking, mix up the dressing.
- To the olive oil add the lemon juice, capers and sardines. Whisk to make sure everything is combined.
- Remove the brussels sprouts from the oven and pour the dressing over them. Stir to make sure everything gets coated.
- Serve either in individual bowls/plates or family style on one large platter by placing the bread slices at the bottom and spooning the brussel sprouts and dressing over the top.
If your brussels sprouts have a thick and long woody bottom on them, make sure you slice some of that off. But be careful not to cut off the entire bottom or the brussels sprout will turn into a pile of leaves.
The larger the brussels sprouts, the longer the cooking time.
It’s fine if you get some of the caper juice mixed in with the capers as you are measuring them. In fact, that’s a good thing.
To really make this dish taste rich, you could leave out the 3 tablespoons of olive oil in the dressing and replace it with 3 tablespoons of melted butter.
Preparation time: 10 minute(s)
Cooking time: 45 minute(s)
Diet type: Vegetarian
Number of servings (yield): 8
Culinary tradition: USA (General)