There’s first world problems, white people problems, and black girl problems (to name a few popular Twitter trends) but there’s also food blogger problems. Sure, we have our share of disastrous dishes (don’t let those pretty pictures and poetic prose fool you…we’re failures in the kitchen too), messy kitchens (really messy kitchens), running out of an ingredient in the middle of a recipe (mise en place is for those who don’t like to live on the edge) but the worst food blogger problem…realizing one morning that you’ve somehow gained so much weight you no longer look like a person in your jeans, you more closely resemble that thick and meaty sausage link you cooked (and then devoured) the other night.
My A-Ha moment actually happened a few weeks ago, but really hit home with me last week when I went to throw on a nice dress. I took one look at myself in the mirror and screamed “AHHHHHH attack of the body snatchers is real! Who the hell are you?!!” Up until that moment, I thought that maybe I had put on a pound or two but my denial levels were running high. My elastic waist pajama bottoms and stretchy workout pants still fit (fyi…these pieces of clothing are just enablers much like Food Network and food porn sites are). So I must be doing fine with my weight. Right? Wrong.
Denial isn’t going to get you anywhere unless you’re actually on the Nile river (I know bad pun…deal with it). And asking your friends and family if you’re fat (when you’re having a fat day) isn’t going to help you either. More than likely they won’t be honest with you. The only one that will be honest with you is that pair of jeans that you can’t zip, or sit down in. They’ve got nothing to lose. Those jeans don’t care if you hate them, stuff ‘em in a dark corner of your drawer and replace them with a new pair. Your friends and family, on the other hand, usually don’t have the same reaction (as your once favorite jeans) when you do that to them.
Unfortunately, my “fat day” has turned into something with a little bit more staying power than just a day. But given my current livelihood (recipe developer and food blogger), I don’t really see my cooking changing all that much. I mean, do you only want to see low cal, low fat, uber healthy recipes on here? I didn’t think so. So things like today’s recipe: poppy seed rolls, will still be coming on the site. Only now I will be spreading the chubbiness with my unsuspecting neighbors. Muahahahaha
These poppy seed rolls were actually made as a breakfast treat for Craig, who is a poppy seed fiend. Remember the chocolate orange cupcakes from the other day? In that post I talked about how for Valentine’s Day it’s not all about you, but about those you love and the things that they like? Well, this is another one of those recipes.
Growing up, my mom made this poppy seed roll recipe a lot. I can remember my dad eating a slice or two with his morning coffee before heading off to work. I ate it too, but never really found the love for it like my parents (or now Craig) did. I think it’s something about the bitterness of the poppy seeds.
This poppy seed filling isn’t overly sweet, which is nice, so you can really get the full flavor of the poppy seeds. I added a bit of honey to the filling just to add a little variety to the flavors. You’ll also find that the ratio of filling to dough is pretty high. That means each roll is packed with the stuff. No one is going to feel cheated or like all they got was big roll of dough. There will be no mistaking that these ARE poppy seed rolls.
Craig was so surprised to see that I had made him these rolls. It was actually well worth making them just to see his face every time he ate one. These would be a great thing to have on hand when you have guests staying with you. Homemade baked goods are always a big hit with people. If you aren’t a fan of poppy seeds, you can use this easy dough recipe to make cinnamon rolls or other sweet rolls too. Since it’s not an overly sweet dough, you can go a little sweeter on the fillings and not be concerned about people going into sugar shock when they eat one of these rolls.
I made this poppy seed roll recipe up the night before, so that Craig would have a nice breakfast treat before he went off to work in the morning. If they had been ready when he came home from work, there wouldn’t have been any left the next day. You can’t glaze them until they completely cool so you could do that right before you serve them (it literally only takes a coupe of minutes to do that step).
Fyi…when you buy poppy seeds they are usually sold whole, which means you need to grind them first. Use a coffee grinder/spice grinder (if you use a coffee grinder, make sure you clean it out before and after you grind the poppy seeds) for this. Your large food processor won’t grind them too well. You’ll know they’re ground enough when they start to clump a bit in the grinder.
Conversation Hearts for people that have been married longer than a year.
Recipe: Sweet Glazed Poppy Seed Rolls
- 1 Package Active Dry Yeast (2 teaspoons)
- 1/4 Cup Water
- 1 Cup Milk (scalded)
- 1/4 Cup Sugar
- 1/4 Cup Shortening (I used the lard I rendered)
- 1 Teaspoon Salt
- 3 1/2 Cups, Sifted, All Purpose Flour
- 1 Large Egg
For Poppy Seed Filling
- 1/2 Pound Ground Poppy Seeds
- 3/4 Cup Sugar
- 1/2 Cup Milk
- 1 Tablespoon Honey
- 1 Tablespoon Butter (softened)
- 1 Teaspoon Lemon Juice
For Confectioner’s Glaze
- 3/4 Cup Confectionery Sugar
- 1 – 1 1/2 Tablespoons Milk
- Warm the 1/4 cup water to 110 degrees Farenheit and pour in yeast to soften (if the water is too hot, it will kill the yeast and if it’s too cold the yeast won’t bloom). Set aside.
- In a large bowl combine scalded milk, sugar, shortening and salt. Let cool to room temperature.
- Once cooled, add 1 cup of the flour and mix in well (a stand mixer with its dough hook works really well for this recipe).
- Beat in the softened yeast and egg.
- Gradually add in the rest of the flour and mix to combine.
- Cover with a tea towel (a terry cloth towel could stick to the dough and leave fuzzies – yuck) and let rise in a warm place for 1 1/2 – 2 hours. The dough should double in size. If your dough hasn’t doubled, try letting it sit for another 20 minutes (it may not have been warm enough). If it hasn’t really changed size at all either your yeast was too old or the water was too hot when you were blooming it. Time to start over.
- Turn out dough onto lightly floured surface and roll out to a 16″x9″ rectangle.
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees Farenheit.
For Poppy Seed Filling
- Add all ingredients to a medium sized bowl and mix thoroughly. You should notice that the poppy seeds are a bit darker because they have been fully incorporated with the wet ingredients.
- Spread evenly onto rolled out dough.
- Using a sharp knife, or a pizza cutter, cut dough into 12 – 16 equal strips.
- Roll dough strips (snugly) into rounds and place on parchment paper lined baking sheet. Leave approximately 1 inch between each roll.
- Bake for 20 – 25 minutes. Dough should be lightly browned when finished baking.
For Confectioner’s Glaze
- In a small bowl mix confectionery sugar with 1 tablespoon milk.
- Stir to combine.
- If you would like the glaze to be thinner, add milk until you get the consistency you like.
- Once rolls are cool, you can drizzle or ice them.
You can omit the honey in the poppy seed filling if you like.
An easier way to make these is to not cut them into strips making individual poppy seed rolls. After spreading the filling onto the dough, tightly roll the dough (starting from the wide edge). Then lay the roll on the lined baking sheet (seam side down) and bake. When cool, drizzle with the glaze and cut into slices and serve.
Preparation time: 2 hour(s) 15 minute(s)
Cooking time: 20 minute(s)
Number of servings (yield): 12
Culinary tradition: USA (General)